Tuesday, 1 March 2011

timespace and the me continuum

I begrudge constantly how little time I have on my hands, but the truth is that the empty hours are most daunting. I'm sort of embarrassed to admit that I'm not relishing the opportunity to get to know myself. While we all want to be socially adept, there is this pressure to embrace solitude (for it is sacred), this common philosophy that we somehow owe it to ourselves to seek out our own company and prove that we don't need anyone else to exist. Strange behaviour for a pack animal.

But doesn't solitary just mean lonely? And without the right people there to reflect us, don't we start to lose shape? There's no nicer feeling in the world than spending time with the people you love, reminding each other of who you are.

I am in a very lucky position. Like a modern-day monk, I've been afforded the chance to live out a life in a new landscape. With all of the landmarks of my old life (or lives) gone the only constant now is me, and 'me' is subject to change. I'm free to tailor all of my tastes, habits and ticks, which is an extraordinary privilege. But I've never spent so much time with myself, and I'm concerned we are becoming shadows.

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